So I'm shaving this beautiful girl's big-lipped pussy (love those curtains!) and what-do-you-know, but Tom Watson interrupts my delicate work to inform me that the great and legendary Tom Guerra of the fabulous Mambo Sons (you gotta love 'em just for the name alone!) has joined our journal team!

Well, I just HAD to stop what I was doing and read Tom Guerra's first gripping journal...he's THAT compelling! Kim wasn't happy about this at all, but I explained to her that certain things come first, you know? She gathered up her things and stormed out of the bedroom, muttering something like, "Well that's something YOU won't be doing today!"

Women.

Anyway, follow Tom's exploits and you too can get yourself in deep do-do with the fairer sex who just don't GET IT when it comes to guitars! (and this is a drummer saying this!). But, I kinda get it...I've known so many guitarists over the years. I remember when I first went to London in 1968 and was staying with the famous Barney Bubbles of Hawkwind album cover fame and we went vinyl shopping in Oxford street...155 Oxford street...just below where Chrysalis later had their first London office, oddly enough. The record shop had the little booths where you could put on headphones and listen to a prospective purchase....anyway, Barney dug me in the ribs and whispered, "Look! Jeff Beck!" And sure enough, there he was thumbing through a row of albums right next to us. Jeff is one of Tom's influences, as you'll read in his journal.

Cream! Did I say CREAM!!?? Hmmm....I'm already getting notes of envy from my friends all over the world...along with comments like, "Paul, if you hear of any SPARE tickets, will you please let me know?" SPARE TICKETS!!!! FOR CREAM!!!???? I don't THINK so! I think some of my friends live in cloud-cuckoo land.

Wouldn't it be funny (not) if Cream put on some more concerts? The Albert Hall calendar for May is pretty much empty after the four Cream concerts! Do they have the balls to add more? If they do, there will be a lot of very happy people out there, and also a lot of extremely angry people (who paid thousands for their tickets)...stay tuned! Someone could end up with a pair of cement shoes inspecting the bottom of the Thames below Tower Bridge.