I just got back from one of the most beautiful concerts that I have ever attended. It is safe to say that that was probably the best 2 hours of my life. My God.

Today was Christiane Karam's New England Conservatory Master Recital. Christiane is from Lebanon. She completed her undergraduate studies from Berklee and then went on to pursue a masters degree in music at the New England Conservatory. Christiane is a self-made woman who has not been home in a whole lot of years. Her music today has reminded me of what music really means to me. How close it really brings you to Him. How holy and sacred it really is. Sitting there, listening like a hungry child... taking in all the instruments and the masterful arrangement and compositions... I came home with a heavy, humbled heart.

Today I have been reminded of my role. Today I was taken back to the root of my struggle. The initial emotion that I felt and believed in before I came here, before I began to make music the center of my life. Through my journey, I had lost sight of everything that I built myself on. But today her music brought me back.

Today I heard Music that is devoid of all evil that exists in this world. Of fortune, fame and society. Of base, of taboo, of conflict. There is so much distracting noise in this world. But today I saw and heard music as I heard it so long ago, from inside me. This music is clear as water. It is smooth as glass.

To stand in the center of beautiful musicians playing beautiful music. All dressed in black and grey. Sitting together in a semi circle like wonderful friends from years and years. Nodding at each other and smiling at each other. The warm wooden floor. With warm brown musical instruments. Some silver and shiny even. Lit by a row of mellow lights. Such purity. Such clarity. Such a terrible rarity. How magnificent is that. It really really is. Christiane stood in the
middle of them, with no instrument but her voice. And she lead them along this magical path of purity and substance. Her struggle has been long and very very hard. But this, i would imagine, is one of the rare moments we spend all our lives for.

There is nothing crude about pure music. I dont need to succumb to the crudeness of society and wonder if I need to hold a guitar and play lightning riffs or fancy jazz just to be taken seriously. It doesnt matter who is female and who is male and how many solos each instrumentalist takes. It is all flowing magically within the bond of musical oneness. Musical oneness? Musical wholeness. When Anastassia, the Kanun player from Greece looked towards Walid, the 'Ud player; they nodded at each other and she branched from the melody into a solo. The water sparkles when it flows in all its purity.

Today I witnessed Oneness with music. Not only by her, but by every musician sitting there. Such heart-felt, absolute oneness. It has made me realise that there is nothing in this world that I want to have, but that. And from here on, there is nothing that I wont do to achieve that. I live only for this absolute spiritual oneness with Him and with His music.

I will wait to achieve a time where musicians and music appreciators can communicate in purity and clarity as I did today, sitting in humbled, hightened proximity in the audience.

For Chrisitiane's voice, I really really have no words. All I can say is that she is one of the most beautiful, most incredible musicians I have ever met, and I owe her heavily for how she has motivated me and reminded me of my greater cause in life. My prayers and congrats are to her because she has come a long way to achieve something that I have only begun to dream and struggle for. She has shown me that purity and oneness with music truly does exist, even when shrouded by the shadows of a complex world. Here is some of the program and hopefully I will be able to get some pictures and maybe even a sound clip. But nothing compares to actually sitting there.

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Ya Hilalan and Sihtu Wajdan are two Muwashshahat (a classical musical form that consists of an andalusian poem set to music in Egypt).

Ya Hilalan is in Maqam Rast and its rhythmic cycle is a slow 7/4 called Nawakht. Sihtu Wajdan is in Maqam Rast Suznak, which is a Rast scale with a Hijaz flavor. Its rhythmic cycle is a fast 7/8 called Dawr Hindi.

It is common in traditional Arabic music to play different muwashshahat back to back, in a suite-like fashion, provided they belong to the same maqam. The suite is then called a Wasla. This is a small example of a Rast Wasla.

Translations:

1.Ya Hilalan (Moon Crescent)

The moon crescent has disappeared from my sight
It has abandoned me, through no fault of my own and no reason
Love has brought me nothing but pain
The years have passed and I have still not earned her nearness

2.Sihtu wajdan ( I Cried Of Pain and Longing)

I cried of pain and longing, dear friends
Wont you help me and save me
I am lost in love
And tears run down my face
I am melting of passion
And if one day I lose my mind
Please forgive me in my insanity.

3.Ya Uthaiba El Marshaf (You whose mouth is so sweet)

You whose mouth is so sweet
Stop depriving me of your beauty
Have mercy on the one who has his reasons to be in love with you
How bitter is your absence
I am thirsty for your love

4.Bi Karmil Loulou ( In the Vineyard of pearl)
This depicts a scene in a village. A young girl is too shy to reveal
her love to her sweetheart, while another young girl awaits her
wedding celebration…the element of the song is that perhaps it is the
same girl.

In the vineyard of pearl, there is a basket full of grapes
My beloved would like to taste them and I'm thinking of stealing some
for him ...
I want to speak to him of my love but I'm too scared to
There's a beautiful young girl who has hidden her jewelry while love awaits her
She will wear her bracelets on her engagement night
The windows are shining with ornaments
And the crystals shining on her forehead.

5.Ihkili Ihkili (Speak to Me)
This is a very poignant song that was written during the war.
This is a story of a person asking the breeze to bring her stories
from her house, her loved ones, her neighbors and memories of the few
moments of joy they shared before it was all gone.

Speak to me, speak to me of my country
Oh breeze that is passing through these trees
Something about my family, something about my home,
And about my childhood neighbor, a long story

Oh breeze that is passing through this land of violence
You swore you would come and play in my house
Tell me, does my country still remember me?
Is it still waiting for me?
Those brief moments of joy, my dear, tell me…

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The last song was based on a Turkish Sufi Prayer. It had no words. Just pure voice and music. It was spiritual and beautiful. The scale is almost magical and conducive to a mystical experience. It is called Segah. What a wonderful way to say goodbye.

Here is the ensemble:

Christiane Karam, Voice
Anastassia Zachariadou, Kanun, Flutes
Theodoulos Vakanas, Violin, Buzuki
Walid Zairi, 'Ud
Petr Cancura, Soprano Sax
Nicole Rampersaud, Trumpet
Ethan Philbrick, Cello
Giacomo Merega, Bass
Pedro Ito, Percussion
Eric Doob, Percussion

So yeah. it was amazing. Especially since it was all in Lebanese and one was led more by the musicality rather than the story on the paper. Our minds had the freedom to imagine and create a unique realm on our own. I cannot thank Him enough for allowing me to be in that audience. I missed one of Christianes concerts before and regreted it. I had a lot of work to do and I was so tired today, I thought I would miss this one too. But something inside me just said. Go. Dont sit at home.

Go.

I am calm and peaceful and grateful of my world. I have been reunited with my strength and determination. Even though there is so much conflict in my heart right at this time, my soul is at peace. Thank you.